Lack of self-love often stems from feelings of unworthiness and self-defeating thoughts. But where do these thoughts originate? Comparison, Negative self-talk and Shaming are all behaviors that feed these ideas and ultimately our actions. Feeling low about yourself and engaging in these behaviors can be the element keeping you from achieving the success you seek in your nutrition and body. This is how:



Shaming is often an extension of what we label a bad behavior. In the context of fitness and nutrition, labeling a meal a “cheat meal” or a workout as an “easy” workout creates negative associations. You are more likely to shame yourself when you’ve missed a training session or indulged in a “bad” meal. Shaming can sound a little something like this:

“I ate a donut, I’ve ruined my diet”

“I didn’t work out yesterday, I have to burn extra calories today”

“What’s the point now”

Studies have shown that practicing more self-compassion leads to better food decisions.


Tell yourself:

“Don’t be hard on yourself”

“Don’t feel bad about yourself”

“This doesn’t change everything”

“Give yourself wiggle room”

Allowing room for error and being kind to yourself, can positively influence training and your eating habits.


Sometimes we are oblivious to how much others can influence us. With one swipe you can admire every inch of every muscle of your favorite fitness gurus on social media. You may think these images are aiding your progress but they could be sabotaging you instead. It’s easy to see what others have at face value and be influenced to get the same result. When you begin to compare yourself and your looks you begin to experience feelings of unworthiness. Suddenly the pictures that you used as motivation are giving you self-doubt. You might catch yourself thinking:

“I’ll never look like them”

“I wish I had their arms”

“I want to be like them”

“Their life is perfect”……

Once you begin to compare you lost motivation, you feel unworthy and you begin to cope reaching for those unhealthy food choices. You hit your workout harder, beating your body down into submission with little recovery.

Rather than focus on images look for other characteristics that you’d like to adopt. Look to follow people that demonstrate commitment good work ethic and consistency. Ask yourself if the content they share is uplifting?


Negative Self Talk

Negative self-talks fuels all your endeavors. In the pursuit of adopting new eating habits and or workouts negative self-talk contributes to your lack of self-love and ultimately hinders your progress. It is impossible to achieve success believing you are incapable of crossing the finish line.  Self-defeating thoughts such as:

“ I’ve tried that before”

“This never works”

“I have a lot of work to do”

“I could never do that”

“ I’m too old for that”

Immediately set you up for failure. Instead Be confident in your endeavor.  Reassure yourself that what you are doing may be challenging but not impossible. Follow up a negative thought with a positive affirmation such as:

“You CAN do it!”

Think with your heart rather than your head, this may seem like an odd concept but if we practice the compassion we have for others we can more easily silence our inner critic. Quieting the mind allows us to rid ourselves of negative thoughts.


You may not be certain where your lack of self-love comes from but these behaviors could be contributing to your plateau. Comparison, Negative self-talk, and Shaming are all behaviors that fuel the fire and can have a tremendous impact on your approach to fitness and your nutrition.